Bass notes


Today, our child growled at us. Proper deep, bass growls as if from a large dog or other carnivorous animal. We were trying to get her down for a nap (as with every Saturday morning for the whole of May, she kicked off at stupid o’clock in the morning and left us broken and sleep deprived all day) and she alternated her usual squeaks and babble with this vaguely frightening animal noise.

I don’t know what’s to come next. Will La Serpiente Aquatica Negra live up to her nickname and start hissing at us? Or will she regale us with impressions of squeaky doors, car alarms and chainsaws? I know parenthood is meant to be mystifying at times, but these sorts of noises make me feel like I’m in an audition for a cut-price horror movie.

This morning I was a state. The best scrambled eggs in Singapore failed to revive me. Even after taking a two hour nap I didn’t feel that great; I tried to medicate this afternoon with a couple of pints of Guinness and then going swimming, but honestly I didn’t feel right until about nine this evening, after I’d put the child down to bed.

That, at least, was painless. Last night we got her into her crib and then my wife left the room, and that cued up half an hour of wailing for her mother before she went to sleep. But we stayed firm (well, I stayed in the room and my wife went out to buy ice cream) and I think our daughter got the message; tonight I was again left to put her down, and she flumped around a little but made no real protestations, and was asleep in fifteen minutes. But then we had done our best all day to exhaust her. Will this be enough for when the second child arrives?


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