Swimming Lesson #1

I learned to swim ten or fifteen times during my childhood – and forgot how to swim that many times as well. Looking back, I realise that trying to persuade a delicate child that it was enjoyable to bob around in an overchlorinated, chilly pool of preadolescent piss was quite obviously a non-starter. A bit of stress might make you pay attention to your task; constant revulsion, coupled with a fear of drowning, is probably counterproductive to any pedagogical mission.
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Cocoon Yoga

After eating an incredibly dense stack of pancakes at a cafe near our flat, I went to Cocoon Yoga for a class. I had walked past their front door a couple of weeks ago, looking for ice cream, and saw they had a back class. Since I have always had dreadful posture, and since working with a computer is inimical to a healthy spine, it was a no-brainer to sign up.
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The November Project

I’m going to start by telling you a story…

Yesterday we had a presentation from a very tall man named Brogan, who founded the November Project, a fitness movement a bit like parkrun but run by bros instead of skinny runners. Crowds of people collect in public spaces in the US at 6:29 in the morning and work out for an hour, for free.

I was intending to get up and do it this morning but I didn’t figure out where exactly it was in San Francisco until 6:25, which left things a bit too late, so I went to the hotel gym instead.

The treadmills were all occupied so I did some weights instead; lots of squats and curls and now my legs hurt and I want to sleep (par for the course with any weight training and me). At least I assume that’s the reason for my soreness, or else it’s the natural consequence of two days sat in a chair not moving. Or perhaps I just should have gone to the November Project.

Abnormal

A long while ago, I went for a health screening, because work paid for it and I fancied finding out what was wrong with me. A lot later, they finally sent me the report, which had some gems in it like “your heart rate is abnormal” and “your lung function is bad but the test is unreliable”. There was also something there about a test result where I should go and see my doctor. I felt that was a bit lacksadaisical – shouldn’t the facility where they run medical tests be able to tell you what it is, rather than pass the buck to somebody else, but never mind, it’s always enjoyable for me to visit my GP and be told I’m close to death.
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Exercises for New Fathers: 2 – The Curl


A week ago my wife recorded this short video of me using our daughter to exercise, but I’ve been too busy to post it until now.

If you don’t have a year-old child, any 9 kilogram weight will do. Lie on the ground with your knees bent and the weight/child held in your arms between your legs, roll yourself up into a ball and then rock yourself back and forth until your abs are burning or your child grows tired of the fun and vomits into your face. (On this particular occasion there was no gastric protest, but I’ve had the fun of Destroyer expunging food into my eye while I’ve been using her for shoulder presses at our local cafe. You have been warned…