Here’s what you could have won

La Serpiente seems to ignore about half the things I say at the moment. Sometimes this means I have to say the same thing several times to elicit a response, and honestly, when I’ve had a poor night’s sleep, wracked by bad dreams and the child crawling into bed to fidget next to us, I don’t have the capacity to keep repeating myself.

Today, I tried a different approach.
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Fourth and second

Nobody likes dad jokes. Except the teller, of course.

We woke today stressed and exhausted, because La Serpiente had crawled into our bed at stupid o’clock and been thrashing and pushing us around ever since, and because we had to get ready for the birthday party today. We’d done things last night like stick pieces of fruit on skewers and make up party bags and try to amass enough juice boxes and cans of beer for the whole population of Singapore, but you never feel you’ve done enough. Especially when it’s now two birthdays, handling both the fourth and second journeys around the sun. I hope they don’t feel shortchanged that we didn’t over-order booze for two different occasions, rather than one.

Frustrated by my slow motion this morning (or to quote EMF, “you say I don’t talk enough but when I do I’m a fool”) my wife sent me out to get coffee. At 8:30 in the morning. On a Sunday. When it’s impossible to buy a cup of coffee. The only place with an open sign in the door was actually shut until 9, which meant I stood like Banquo’s ghost at the counter until they finally noticed me and almost jumped out of their skins. Well, that will teach them not to serve coffee early enough.
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Living in the present

I gave Destroyer a present this morning, Cinder, a shiny green Beanie Baby dragon about half her size. This provoked some anger from La Serpiente, who couldn’t understand why she wasn’t also getting more presents, despite already having a myriad of cuddly toys. Still, it was good that Destroyer liked Cinder, as evidenced by her clutching tightly to him/her all the way around the Yayoi Kusama exhibition at the National Gallery today. Continue reading “Living in the present”

Further tears before bedtime

So tonight it was my turn again to put Destroyer down. This would be the last time before her second birthday, and she marked it in style by being quite copacetic while I read her the story of Little Miss Magic, and then literally climbing the walls, screaming constantly for her mother, once I put the lights out and tried to get her to lie down.

“No Daddy, no!” the howls continued for quite some time, until she gave up climbing on me to open the door, and settled down on the floor, where she lay with her head on my legs, sobbing occasionally, and refusing utterly when I tried to make her more comfortable with a pillow to lie upon.
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Fighting to sleep

I failed to heed my own advice and didn’t stay awake for long on the flight; I was unconscious by halfway through Miss Congeniality (just like the scriptwriters, ironically enough) and slept soundly for eight hours. Which meant I woke about midnight Singapore time and couldn’t get back to sleep, and so I arrived home at 7am with all the joy squashed out of me. Continue reading “Fighting to sleep”

Holding the babies

This morning I felt predictably dreadful, after drinking as much as I could last night and then sleeping on the floor next to Destroyer. (Neither she nor her sister woke up, so they were fresh and ready at 7 am to start yelling at us for entertainment.) I drank tea, I drank coffee, we took the girls home and cajoled them to nap, and then I fell asleep on La Serpiente’s floor (notice this leitmotif of the weekend) and awoke 20 minutes later with both my arms completely numbed. I flopped around like a fish for a while, then dragged myself off to watch cartoons for half an hour until the kids both woke up again, and we redeployed to the National Library.
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Almost time for launch

This morning I related my conversation from yesterday to a colleague. “Well, you don’t have any EQ” she said.

I had the last laugh, because only people who don’t have any EQ would be confident in making bold statements about other people lacking EQ.

Oh, hang on. That’s not right…
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