Not too much fun at the waterpark


This afternoon we went to the Gardens By The Bay to meet friends at the children’s play area. Before going there, we popped over to the Star Wars event, where there were some demented cosplayers dressed in heavy black uniforms from top to toe, just the thing for tropical weather. La Serpiente decided she was scared of ‘the black turtles’ so we bid a hasty retreat to the children’s area.
Continue reading “Not too much fun at the waterpark”

Partied out

34025611495_9432d4d89e_k
This morning I awoke feeling crapulent, apparently the result of one pint of beer last night. We went downstairs to a 4th birthday party in the mezzanine area of our building, on an incredibly hot, humid day. The girls ran around playing with water pistols, or drew with chalk on the ground, or slid around in puddles of soapy water, for two hours until La Serpiente faceplanted and we all went home for a nap.
Continue reading “Partied out”

Great World City and a calm afternoon

An enormous chicken mural at Camp Kilo
An enormous chicken mural at Camp Kilo

This morning we went to Great World City, another mall in Singapore that’s not very different to the rest. There’s a Toys R Us for the kids to buy branded doodads in, there’s a Cotton On to buy their clothes in, there’s a Marks & Spencer and a Typo to buy kitsch nick-nacks. We went to the toyshop to buy the girls new toy cars; La Serpiente got a metallic purple VW bug and Destroyer a Beatles-themed Mini. And i got a 67 Ford Mustang, so I was happy too. This excursion took us a couple of hours when you factor in stopping for a croissant in Tiong Bahru, changing a nappy and all the other mucking around, which meant that the kids were ready for their naps. So tired, in fact, was La Serpiente that she ran around me screaming that she was too tired to walk and needed to be carried. Heartless parent that I am, I pointed out the discrepancy in this and made her walk to the bus stop.
Continue reading “Great World City and a calm afternoon”

Dinosaurs

It is a truth universally acknowledged that all places, at all times, are envious of the South​ London suburb of Crystal Palace, and that given time, for any particular place, you’ll always be able to amass evidence to prove this. 

And so that was that we went to Singapore’s attempt at the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Gardens By The Bay, to find this maxim proven once more. 

It’s the Children’s Festival until April, and because children love building-sized monstrosities that tear and eat flesh, a large number of dinosaur statues have been erected through the gardens. Just like in Crystal Palace Park, they peer out from between shrubberies and frighten the young and impressionable. Because it’s the 21st century, instead of being in drab neutral tones or covered in moss, they’re all neon shades of pink and green and purple, and most of them are motorised and either growl or move their heads left and right, eyes and mouths twitching open. I guess the Victorians didn’t have access to modern animatronics. 

There were blood red velociraptors sprinkled through the park, and we saw a girl of two or three reduced to tears and screams, while her father held her close to the enormous mouth of one such specimen. It’s always nice to see total disregard for somebody’s peace of mind. La Serpiente and Destroyer were unfazed though. 

That was because they were more intent on collecting stamps in a free booklet. There were brightly coloured eggs dotted through the gardens, and if you could find each one and its attendant stamp, you could check it off. We found most of them, but as the day ground on and we began to succumb to heatstroke, patience grew short, until my wife was accosting random passers-by and demanding to know whether they’d seen the eggs. Good times. 

As well as schlepping around in the sunshine, we got to see a half hour music show, where seven unlucky thespians got strapped into enormous foam rubber dinosaur costumes and had to dance under the blazing sun, encouraging the watching children to clap their hands and dance. Our kids were spellbound, although they may just have been out of their minds after eating a whole ice cream each. But whatever works, works. 

We got all our stamps by 530 and then beat a retreat. (The last egg is hidden up some stairs, behind an out-of-commission lift, which is suspicious in this city of super high efficiency and no broken infrastructure. Maybe the dinosaurs nobbled it.) I don’t know if we qualify for a prize, but i was just proud that the South [London] would rise again. 

Just give it a few million years and some fossilisation, that’s all. 

Pasir Ris Park

This morning we went to Pasir Ris Park. Pasir Ris is right at the end of the East West MRT line, so the name had a passing familiarity, although it’s never somewhere I’d been before. I wasn’t feeling that great: two hard days of running behind me, and we’d been out til midnight at a friend’s 40th. I don’t think I had that much to drink (3 beers and a glass of champagne) but the combination of the heat, the humidity, the standing up on tired legs for four hours, the being a lightweight… So the thought of traipsing around in the sun didn’t fill me with joy. 

It’s a good park though. You sit on the train for 40 minutes then walk five minutes more to get to the first part of the park; a large lake with people fishing in curiously organised manner, and a short walk after that takes you to a path next to the canal. It was low tide and, below the locks, we could see herons striding about (and later a huge monitor lizard too). There’s also a huge tree full of birds; mynahs, orioles, even a kingfisher. My spirits began to lift. 

Following the Park Connector route brings you to a boardwalk over a mangrove swamp. Once La Serpiente was persuaded that a boardwalk isn’t a bridge (and therefore doesn’t conceal any trolls) she was happy to walk down it and look at the fiddler crabs in the mud beneath us. There were quite a few mosquitoes around but we were liberal with citronella patches and didn’t get bit. 

Coming out of the mangroves there’s a small vegetable garden to explore, then the park widens again; there’s lots of grassy space and paths to run or cycle on, and a good view of the sea. Pasir Ris is down the same end of Singapore as the airport, but it’s surprisingly peaceful. One thing to shatter the peacd is a nearby water park, where small children splash one another while Also Sprach Zarathustra is played at ear splitting volume. No, I don’t know why Wagner is appropriate accompaniment to water slides in Singapore, it just is. (The water park is hidden behind some trees so we never actually saw it, just heard its Terrifying Presence.)

I jumped around on some steps to amuse Destroyer, then we retraced our steps. We stopped at the station for lunch and to listen to an inept busker, then home. Today I was meant to put in a two hour run, but hangover and walking around with the kids and a huge rainstorm and being exhausted put paid to that. I hope this doesn’t signal the disastrous end of my marathon training efforts. 

Millions of cascading plastic discs

We went to the National Gallery today to renew our membership and give the girls another exposure to art, in the hope in inspires aesthetic judgment later in their lives. (Well, in the morning we went back to Tiong Bahru Park to get sunburn and then croissants at the bakery, but if that of which we cannot speak, we must remain silent.) We didn’t see much of the galleries, but Destroyer did have a good time running in some of the wide open spaces around the exhibition on British imperialist art, and both girls got to try on costumes as part of a “dress your kids up as the generalissimo” installation. 

After that, and after I’d had a bowl of French fries and an inexplicable Coke in the galley café (since when did I start drinking Coke again?) we went to one of the girls’ favourite pieces, the plastic disc game. 

This is a long wall of transparent plastic with holes cut in it and colours behind, and a large selection of coloured acrylic discs. It’s actually a maze and the idea is to push the discs from one end to another without going down a route that ends in a hole, but for the last six months we hadn’t realised that and so the kids just constantly pushed discs into the holes to watch them fall through the structure. Again and again and again. 

Now we’ve learned there’s a right way to experience the artwork, I like it less, because it becomes a (simple) problem to solve, rather than hours of noisy entertainment. The girls haven’t noticed, and continue to drop discs through the holes, again and again and again, worlds without end. 

The heavens opened while we travelled to the gallery, and didn’t show any signs of abating all afternoon, which makes my wife’s sunburn on a rainy day that much more ridiculous. On to the next thing now.

Little Guilin Again

Little Guilin
A year and a half after our first expedition, and a day after our last attempt, we went out to Little Guilin again. This time, we left in the morning, rather than waiting until a rainstorm blew in, and we carefully researched the bus routes so we wouldn’t do anything damnfool stupid.

Of course, we relied on Google Maps, which told us we needed to take a bus to get to the bus stop, and we didn’t drink any coffee before trying to transport two small children on two buses for half an hour, and we had La Serpiente complaining alternately that she wanted to run and that she was too tired to walk, so we may have been redefining the concept of ‘damnfool stupid’ but it’s not like it’s easy to be a trendsetter.
Continue reading “Little Guilin Again”