Helmets and other excavations


It’s been a long time since I did any martial arts training, and for about four years I’ve had a pair of helmets tucked away in a cupboard; I bought them for sparring practice, and never actually used them, then moved to Singapore, and never used them, and moved house, and never used them. Clearly they’re not going to get used, and though I could have left them cluttering up the spare room forever, I finally managed to offload them today, to a friend of mine who still trains.

I dropped them off to him at lunchtime, which meant I had to take a pair of helmets to the office this morning. I had a few surprised looks as I came into the office. I guess they don’t normally see people with protective headgear in there. I tried to explain why I had helmets and even offered to let people put them on while I hit them around the face, but nobody seemed that tempted. I can’t think why.

For lunch I went to a hawker centre near my old office, and had a three dollar meal of tofu and rice, with miscellaneous vegetables. That’s a lot cheaper that my usual lunchtime meals, especially as my friend paid for me. I guess the investment in helmets is finally paying off.

This evening, emboldened by this clearing up of detritus, we cleared a few more boxes out of the spare room. We found my bright yellow trousers, and my wife was rather aghast to find that I have the same waist size that I did when I was nineteen years old. I think this is a good thing, as I can fit into clothes I bought when I was a student. She thinks this is a bad thing, as I can fit into clothes I bought when I was a student. The cyclical nature of fashion is one thing, green velvet jeans are quite another.

Eventually the dust that was billowing from the spare room and the opened boxes (even after just three months here, it’s become like prying open Tutankhamen’s tomb) became too much for my nose, and I retreated to our bedroom. Wearing bright yellow trousers. That’s something of a victory.


2 responses to “Helmets and other excavations”

    • It’s not a dream, it’s an appalling reality. They’re going to be making a reappearance soon…

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