After the convention was finished, I sneaked off to see the new XXX film, XXX 3 or whatever it’s called.
Compared to it, the Fast and Furious films are the Greatest Story Ever Told. The stunts are great (though Tony Jaa is criminally underused) but there’s literally no plot. Characters swap from enemry to friend without even an attempt at justification and even Vin Diesel seems embarrassed as he delivers a series of sub-Roger Moore one liners.
But, it does have Donnie Chen doing some silly king fu, there’s a pair of surfing Motocross bikes, an unexplained attack of Russians in helicopters, and Toni Collette. I’m not saying it was worth paying for, but it wasn’t totally dreadful. Just all the parts that needed a plot, or characterisation, or dialogue.
That, or I had a major brain catastrophes at half way through, and it destroyed my memory both forward and back by an hour.
Off to Singapore, off to sleep.
Today my daughters got given identical purple owls for Christmas, both called Jane. I suppose that’s less confusing, somehow. Destroyer is slightly taller than Jane, but only just, and Jane is rotund enough that La Serpiente can’t fit her arms all the way round her when she hugs her. Nevertheless, they both took their Janes to bed, which led to all sorts of shenanigans as they couldn’t lie down properly with these enormous owls in bed beside them. Continue reading “Owls called Jane”
After all the hype, after all the terrible reviews that I avoided reading because I was scared of having plot twists revealed, my wife and I finally got to see Suicide Squad. I was taken aback that I wasn’t more disappointed.
Continue reading “Suicide Squad”
Last night I watched Ghostbusters. This was a film that generated a vast amount of furore because (spoiler alert) the principal members of the cast were all women, whereas in the original they were all men, and thus as a result everyone’s childhood was going to be ruined (thirty years later) by a remake/reboot/reimagining of a film that, honestly, wasn’t that great. Sure, you might think your life was in some way transcended by Ghostbusters, but if you were to go back now and watch the original, then apart from the strange way it provided a prototype to every start-up in Silicon Valley (ghost busting business model or not) it’s not the most amazing thing. The script could be pepped up, the acting isn’t always amazing and back in the 1980s, they couldn’t afford either extras or CGI, so none of the crowd scenes impress.
Continue reading “Ghostbusters”
Tonight we finally got out to see the latest Star Wars extravaganza, although due to heavy traffic on the way to the cinema we missed the first five minutes? (ten minutes? an hour?) which left me wondering for the rest of the experience what important plot point we’d completely missed.
Of course, that didn’t really matter.
Continue reading “The Force Awakens (a bit late)”
I watched an awful lot of rubbish on the plane on the way back to Singapore. Most of it was so rubbish that it left no trace on my memory apart from a vague sense of disappointment, and then there was Legend, which did a fairly bad job of romanticising the Krays: a nicer pair of men who had fights in pubs with hammers you couldn’t hope to meet. There was something wrong with the sound in my seat, and despite the crew rebooting my screen that didn’t make a difference – there was just a horrible burbling sound drowning out all the dialogue. When La Serpiente fell asleep (after mercifully only a couple of hours, and then fitfully dozed on either parent’s lap as the mood took her) I watched films on my screen and listened via hers, which led to all sorts of lip sync shenanigans.
Oh, I’ve just remembered. I watched Black Mass. Don’t watch Black Mass, it’s one of those Johnny Depp films where he seems to be doing his damnedest to destroy any hope of a cinematic legacy. Well, no, that’s unfair. It’s just another dull tale of dull criminal folk (in Boston, BAAAAAHHHSTAAAAHHHN) who apparently didn’t learn any lessons from watching Goodfellas. Never mind.
Continue reading “Revolving airports”
Amy is a spectacularly depressing film. Having watched every dreadful film on the way out (Vacation, Get Hard, and others too numerous to mention) on the way back to Singapore I watched … Hot Tub Time Machine 2. Which was even worse than my wife warned me. But I also watched Amy, a documentary about Amy Winehouse.
Continue reading “What I Learned Last Weekend”