July, 2013 - cushtie.com

Month: July 2013

  • Back up

    I’ve managed to perform at least once every month this year; it’s not been much, but it’s been enough to make me feel I still have a toehold in comedy. However, what with attending to our newborn and a comedy night being cancelled, I worried that July might be the month that broke me. My […]

  • Happy Anniversary

    At about five this afternoon, my wife sent me a message on Skype, asking if I wanted to go out for dinner. I gave this some thought: there’s plenty of stuff in the fridge, and although I was paid less than a week ago, we’re trying to economise, what with having a newborn to care […]

  • Express yourself

    My wife sent me two messages today, both in a state of great excitement. The first was that our daughter now has a passport, courtesy of those nice people in the Canadian government. It only lasts for two years, but in the month since the photo was taken, her appearance has already changed from ‘cheerful […]

  • Hungover

    Yesterday I felt dreadful after my compact but effective drinking binge. In fact, I didn’t really feel healthy again until 6pm, which, unfortunately, was when I started drinking again, and so in turn I felt rotten today. We didn’t have much to do, except for a child’s birthday party to attend, but even that was […]

  • Drunker again

    I woke today, confused and baffled and hung over, lying on the sofa in the living room with all the lights on, huge holes punched in my memory, vaguely certain that I’d been drinking strong cocktails from a coconut the night before. I struggled all morning, failing to engage with the universe, then went to […]

  • Drunk again

    I came home drunk from an evening of heavy drinking, baffled and confused by the world. One of my colleagues had suggested drinking shots, but no matter how hard the week, four shots of strong booze plus three or four cocktails don’t make for a calm night. In the cold light of Monday morning, I […]

  • Parker, and seeking definition

    This evening, reading The Hunter by Donald Westlake (masquerading as Richard Stark) I got all confused about the eye colour of Parker, the protagonist of the story.

  • Hound of the Beardskevilles

    I haven’t had a shave and a haircut for two months, not since I got a porno moustache and my wife was so perturbed that I had to go and hide in Seattle until my beard was sufficiently regrown. I did get my beard trimmed slightly four weeks ago, but with the heat and humidity […]

  • “Like a tree.”

    From the first chapter of Richard Stark’s The Hunter: The office women looked at him and shivered. They knew he was a bastard, they knew his big hands were born to slap with, they knew his face would never break into a smile when he looked at a woman. They knew what he was, they […]

  • A little bit of this, a little bit of that

    Today we played Arkham Horror for the first time since we became parents. Possibly dealing with the squamous messes in a baby’s nappies makes you less keen on encountering eldritch (and slimy) horrors in fiction. Our child, perhaps feeling left out (particularly after my wife wouldn’t let me name her Ftagn) was silent until I […]