A stone’s throw and some grain


I had two bits of paper in my mailbox today – a letter from the bank, and an advert for a new housing development, “a stone’s throw from the CBD and Orchard Road”. The CBD in Singapore is here. Orchard Road is here. The new housing development is here. I can only assume they throw stones in Singapore using cannons, because I certainly couldn’t sling one that far.

In other news, estate agents continue to be economic with the truth. Who would have suspected such?

Today I had a cup of coffee. That isn’t very remarkable in itself, but it was the most expensive cup I’ve had for some time ($7), partly because I was at Grain Traders, a newly opened, very spiffy but very expensive salad bar in the Central Business District, and partly because I ordered a decaf, to see what would happen. I was assuming it would taste the same, and again I would be disgusted, and that I wouldn’t get any kind of buzz off it, because it wouldn’t have any caffeine in it.

On both scores I was wrong. It was the nicest, most mellow cup of coffee I’ve had in two months. To be fair, I’ve hardly drunk coffee for two months because the taste has disgusted me, but it turns out that a decaf coffee from Grain Traders, while hellishly expensive, is eminently drinkable.

However, the fact that I then crashed and burned at 3:30 today and could hardly keep my eyes open suggests to me that it wasn’t completely devoid of caffeine, and that I was getting a sneak attack where the vestiges of stimulant left in the coffee had bumped me up a bit between midday and two, and then prepared me for the usual massive crash in the afternoon. So as experiments go, we’ll call this one a failure.

I also had a salad at Grain Traders – also ludicrously expensive. And far too big – perhaps it was the quinoa I ate, in a box almost as big as my head, that made me feel so tired this afternoon. I am a simple man, I should subsist on bread and water. Still, I couldn’t resist the siren call of Grain Traders. It’s a place that sells lunch to people, in a very high rent part of town, and so it’s bemusing to me that they should have spent an enormous quantity of money on a gigantic copper funnel that hangs above the kitchen area of the restaurant, apparently only there to support a very large picture of a chicken. That can’t be good for their cash flow, surely? And so, bemused by this conspicuous consumption on their part, like a moth to a flame, I find myself drawn back there, to buy high priced salad containing lentil patties (which honestly, look like something that I’d find in a nappy, rather than food). Truly, I should know better, I am a victim of marketing. And a consumer of grain.


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