Happy Day

I had a particularly bright mood today. Maybe it was my second day without coffee. Maybe it was managing to get out for a run this morning (20 minutes, but still 20 minutes more than nothing). Or La Serpiente being fairly well behaved, and not waking me up more than three times last night. Or maybe it was all of these, and more.

I announced my resignation today to the agency I work for at the moment, and I had very mixed feelings in doing so; it feels like a lot of the frustration I’ve had over the last year is finally coming to an end, things are getting organised and becoming more rational. So to walk away now might be perfectly the wrong time, but then there would always be a point where I’d be vacillating about that. And in truth I can’t see myself remaining there forever; sometimes you have to identify when it’s time to go, and make the break as cleanly as possible. Hold on tightly; let go lightly.

I have almost two months of my notice left to work (and I have to organise my leaving party, which could be either a reward or a punishment, depending on how you interpret it) and this is a world where you say au revoir, not goodbye (Mary Poppins taught me that, if nothing else); it’s better to leave on good terms, because you never know who’ll be your boss next. But the headache and the constant cognitive dissonance of not being able to talk about what happens when I’ve gone has lifted. I can concentrate now on leaving as well as I can, and being as ready as possible for the next big thing.

The other thing for me in the next two months is to think about all that I didn’t do, or that I did do that I shouldn’t have, and try not to replicate that going ahead. More delegation, more clear identification of what I should be doing and what I shouldn’t, and, most importantly, figuring out how to build a really strong team around me. That’s a particular challenge when every moment socialising with your team is a moment away from your family; I need to think carefully and talk to others and understand a path through this, to make sure I can be part of something strong and happy at work, and also at home. Live half for yourself, and half for others.

And now to bed. If nothing else, I’ve learnt the value of getting enough sleep.

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