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Irresponsible superheroes

On the way home from the track, we fell to reminiscing about TV programmes of the 80s; classics like Air Wolf, Street Hawk and Manimal, that bizarre classic where through the simple power of heavy breathing, a man could transform himself into any animal he chose. Although mostly he chose to be a bird, possibly for budgetary reasons.

My friend has never heard of Automan though. A legitimate oddity, where the eponymous hero could obtain superpowers like turning into a cat or a plane or just having a Tron-like suit by simply …sticking his fingers into an electrical socket. Could anything top that for terrible examples to give children?

Either Prescription Medicine Man, who gets special powers if he can gobble up all the pills he can find around the house. Or his sidekick, Bleach Boy, imbued with prodigious strength whenever he drinks drain cleaner. Bag-of-skag-man and his filthy works. Or the zany duo that is Derek Paedo and Keith Hitler, complete with a theme song with lyrics like “He’s a very funny man, just don’t get in his van”… When you’re formulating a song for a non-existent children’s TV programme about a couple of sex offenders, you have to wonder if your life has taken a wrong turn somewhere.

Otherwise, a normalish day. I went to the dentist who told me I have four cavities. I went to the track and did laps at 1:38 until I almost puked, so perhaps I’m not as slow as I thought I was. I watched another epic motorcycle race. And I had to give La Serpiente a cuddle until she fell asleep, and I sat there in the dark thinking about how lucky I am to have such wonderful kids.

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