What lovely children


This afternoon, La Serpiente (with Destroyer’s assistance) pulled every item of clothing she possesses out of her wardrobe and spread them on the floor, and when my wife got angry and told her to stay in her room and put them back, she screamed and screamed until she was sick on her favourite Paw Patrol t-shirt

When I got home I had been forewarned of this, so I sat La Serpiente down and asked her what she’d done, and she tried to sell me a bill of goods about how there was a crab and they were scared, and I tried to keep a straight face while being presented with this 24 carat bullshit.

They continued to act up; minor arguments broke out about toys and these quickly turned into screaming from La Serpiente, so I sent my wife out to seek refuge at an ice cream parlour. When she left, La Serpiente screamed even louder, eventually getting Destroyer to scream too, and that cacophony continued until they realised I was quite capable of ignoring them.

I explained to La Serpiente why her behaviour wasn’t very good, and she screamed some more, and Destroyer played happily, and then La Serpiente calmed down, and then she screamed again, and then she demanded to be left alone in her room, so I read Destroyer a book about dogs then took her to brush her teeth.

I didn’t realise that would send La Serpiente loopy again: she barrelled out of her room in full tantrum mode, screaming that Destroyer was being bad (being good just entails screaming a lot, I guess) and then standing on a stool in the bathroom and stamping her foot in rage. So far, so amusing, but Destroyer emulated this stamping as it was jolly good fun, and I’d only just managed to finish her teeth and start on La Serpiente’s when my wife returned to the fray.

On the positive side, La Serpiente gave me no troubles at bedtime, and was asleep in less than a minute. But then a coughing fit meant she woke up and took another minute to put back down again. What a shame that I have a bad foot and there’s haze again, otherwise I’d make the most of the evening.


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