Birthday surprise

I felt really bad that I’d miss my daughter’s fourth birthday, vomiting or passed out cold in my bed. When I eventually got up, around 11,throat sore and head pounding, they’d gone to the zoo so I fumbled around with Tylenol, ate a banana and eventually headed out in pursuit of them.

I forgot to bring Destroyer’s new Elsa dress that she’d got for her birthday. This would have a pay off later on.

I went via Whole Foods and bought macarons and a Pride cake. The Pride cake was because Destroyer likes rainbows, rather than any particular allyship with the LGBT community. But who doesn’t like rainbows?

I reached our friend’s house, where the girls were playing nicely. I still sounded like death, my voice the rasp of rusty metal on a blackboard. All I wanted to do was to lie down and drink tea to sooth my throat. We put candles on the cake. Everyone sang. They ate cake. They were happy.

Then Destroyer asked for the Elsa dress I had brought. And I discovered I’d forgotten to do so. And so for ten minutes my youngest prostrated herself on the carpet and wept, until my wife persuaded her to go out and look at the chickens.

I guess maybe I shouldn’t drink a vast quantity of cider and beer again for a while.

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