Building The Voice Of God


This is what we all need drones for: cruel, pointless revenge for minor slights.

We equip a drone with a high-gain RFID antenna, so it can fly at fifty feet and track and follow a particular RFID tag. The next time somebody shoves past us, or does something else to irritate us, we pat them on the back, sticking an RFID tag to their outer garments. Then we fire up The Voice Of God.

Our drone locks onto that person via the tag, then follows them around. Because we’ve mounted a parabolic loudspeaker on the gimbal, coaxial with the RFID antenna, whenever that person is visible and there’s line of sight, the drone can whisper cruel messages direct to the victim.

"You’re a bad person … Nobody likes you … Why are you so rude? … That isn’t a haircut, it’s an atrocity"

All the time they’re outside, they’ll hear this constant mumbling of insults, possibly spinning around to catch the person talking to them, increasingly confused and upset to be incapable of locating their tormentor. Who’d look up when there’s an imp whispering directly in their ear?

"You should say excuse me … Apologize when you bump into people … Your clothes don’t fit properly."

Perhaps The Voice Of God is very quiet, just enough to provoke subconscious upset. Perhaps it’s the loud harangue of the ideologue. Either way, it will result in the rude being punished whenever they stray outdoors, and thus more cordial and polite behaviour on our streets.

What could possibly go wrong?


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