Chaos Cup Sevens 2021

My flight was an hour late leaving Seattle, and I only had a ginger ale and some almonds to eat, and then snarled up traffic meant I arrived at the hotel about twenty minutes before the tournament started. And I stank.
I managed a very quick shower, then ran down to get into my first game – a scoreless draw against wood elves where I was able to beat them up mercilessly but not quite get the ball up the field. I was helped by a Desperate Measure, a random benefit that in this case was a banana skin to make an opposing player fall over at a critical juncture. My opponent took it all in good stead, despite his dice being awful and mine rolling hot throughout.

Variance is a horrible thing and in my second match, against Skaven, they ran rings around me, scoring four times. So by the end of that I was a bit of a wreck, and had to go see my wife in the hotel restaurant and eat creme brulee to cheer myself up.

In the third match, I played one of the top ranked coaches in the US, Bryan Tew, and I thought I was going to be blown out of the water. But I managed to pull off a touchdown in four turns, and could have held him to 1-0 if it wasn’t for another Desperate Measure that he used, Razzle Dazzle. This allows you to move a player twice, allowing him to sprint the length of the pitch. I was a bit put out because I’d asked about this exact thing on Facebook last week and got constant jeering responses that this wasn’t what Razzle Dazzle was allowed to do.

I could have got in a mood, but I swallowed it and went to the second half. A bad kick off gave him the ball, and then he spent three turns not moving. I stayed stationary too, figuring if I moved forward he’d then be able to run around me. We wasted half the second half staring at each other before he began to move, and then it was only because I had a reroll and could reroll a 1-dice block that I prevented him winning. But a draw is not a loss, and after that drubbing by the rats, I needed this.

And, when the numbers were counted, I’d inflicted the most casualties in the competition, just as I did when I last entered it two years ago. How’s that for consistency?

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