Climbing the walls

This morning we had to go look at garden sheds, and also the girls demanded to go climbing. I figured we could fulfil both of these needs by going to the Home Depot south of the stadium district, and then to the climbing wall next door.
Sadly, the Home Depot had no display sheds, so that was a wasted effort. Next we went to the climbing wall, where they had a video safety briefing to watch, and then I signed the girls up to climb.

Annoyingly, the guy on the front desk didn’t bother pointing out there were no routes suitable for La Serpiente or Destroyer. Unlike at Seattle Bouldering Project where there are several rooms designed for a child’s reach, everything at Momentum is man-sized, an ultimately frustrating experience for the girls and for us. What’s even stranger is they offer climbing classes for 6-12 year old, but unless the 6 year old of Seattle are 50% bigger than La Serpiente, I don’t know what they’re playing at.

Also, they let people climb in any sort of shoe. This is bad. Firstly, climbing in a pair of Vans is a dumb idea, and more importantly, I don’t want to be holding onto holds that have been stepped on by somebody who’s been wearing shoes to walk down the street. That seems like a great way to get in touch with all the crap from outside, and I doubt they’re spraying the boulder problems with hand sanitiser.

And so in the afternoon I took La Serpiente and Destroyer to Seattle Bouldering Project. There’s a slide there, and lots of holds that are close together and a reasonable size for a child’s hands, and space for the girls to run around.

This had other negative consequences. La Serpiente ran so much that she made herself vomit (fortunately in the bathroom, and then recovered herself). Other children’s parents don’t tell their children not to run under climbers (when I fell off a wall and almost flattened a four year old, I doubt that would have gone down well). And some child made fun of Destroyer (something about asking her if she was a gardener because she was wiping her hair out of her face). A sometimes sensitive soul, Destroyer was reduced to tears, which was why I had to climb up to console her (and that was when I fell and almost landed on the child who had said this to my daughter).

I was at a loss as to what to say, apart from to tell her not to listen to those children. I should have told her to tell the child to fetch its parents, and then tell them they were doing a bad job raising their progeny. But that might be a hard one for my dear little one to carry off. On the other hand, the payoff from that would be epic. So perhaps I’ll prep her better for next week.

While I watched the kids, my wife went to the other Home Depot, in West Seattle, and checked out sheds. I will be getting a truly magnificent palace to play Blood Bowl in, in just a few weeks.

Then we all returned home and ate dinner, while I lost a game of Blood Bowl, before the kids had a tantrum when we made them pick up their toys, and then they were both asleep by 7, allowing me to go back to Seattle Bouldering Project to climb for an hour, mashing up my hands and then using the CBD oil based salve to repair them.

And I’ve got sunburn from being out for an hour on an overcast day. What madness is this?

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