This evening I stabbed myself with a kitchen knife. Fortunately, the end of the knife is properly blunt from all the abuse we’ve meted out to it over the last couple of years, so I didn’t draw blood, but did have a paroxysm of swearing in the kitchen while my wife was putting our daughter down to sleep.
I stabbed my finger while preparing an avocado to eat, which was quite aggravating. At least I knew the right way to peel an avocado. This took me years to realize; for years I would try to cut slices of the avocado’s skin off, usually ending up with some strange polyhedral naked avocado, with half of the flesh of the fruit spread across every surface in the kitchen.
It’s actually very easy to peel an avocado. You cut it in two along the long axis of the avocado, so that you have two pieces. If the avocado is ripe, they’ll easily separate, with the seed remaining in one half. (You shouldn’t try to saw through the seed in the middle, just slice into the fruit until the knife meets the seed.) Then you can prise the seed out by stabbing it with the end of the knife and then flicking it out. You’re left with two halves of the avocado, with the skin around them intact, and it’s then simple to get the flesh out with a spoon, without any wastage.
Unless, of course, you’re cackhanded and jab the knife into your finger rather than the seed when you go to stage two of this process.
Strangely, as I type this, it’s my right index finger that hurts, when it was my left index finger that I stabbed. Surely you can’t have a phantom pain if the body part is still attached.
I couldn’t do anything more intellectually taxing than that today. It was a very long day today with little time to devote to thinking clearly, and since I was up at two fending off the demands of our child, I never really felt at the top of my game. On the positive side, I’m still good (although a danger to myself) at food.