A quick drink


After work this evening, I skipped through the sunlit streets of Singapore to the pub, where I necked two pints of Guinness while thrashing out arrangements for a cyclocross race. I wrote everything down, but even when stone-cold sober my handwriting is terrible, so I’m worried that in the cold light of day I’ll find my notes say things like "MASSIVE BINGE" or "mandatory underpants".

I also had more work to do tonight, so I had to go back to the office and pick up my laptop, before walking home via the supermarket. Just like a salmon returning to its spawning grounds, when drunk I have an unerring ability to guide myself towards a shelf full of groceries.

That’s a terrible simile, but I made it home with laptop, a litre of milk, some blueberries and a bag of tortilla chips. All food groups covered, basically.

My wife wasn’t exactly chuffed to see me crash through the door. She admonished me for not following instructions and having something to eat, but Guinness is food, and if you down two pints, having also eaten a basket of chips won’t make much of a difference one way or the other. While I was out plotting and carousing, she’d been baking, and so I did get to eat a breastfeeding cookie. (They’re intended to aid milk production. Rather than being baked with breastmilk.)

Our child slumbered on, missing out one of the most treasured memories of early childhood – a drunken father. Ah well, there’s always tomorrow for her.


2 responses to “A quick drink”

    • I don’t remember her mentioning fenugreek, but I was rather confused by that point. Peanut butter, apparently – which means I must have been very drunk to eat the cookie without complaint.

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