I’m beginning to worry that I crave disappointment.
I’ve caught myself thinking that I should buy a new Blackberry, when for the last year plus change I’ve been frustrated and enraged by the very Blackberry I type this on, with its flimsy keyboard and self-destructing body and a battery that apparently exists not to store electrical energy but to get very hot and then go flat.
And still I find myself reading article after article online to try to convince myself that I should get another Blackberry, debating between one with a keyboard or one without a keyboard, or if I should buy a crappy-ass keyboard from ebay and attach it to my phone, or a three year old iPhone. It’s almost as if I’m seeking out the most depressing way to waste my money.
And I don’t need to do that. I could just spend my cash on high-priced hard liquor, and be happy. In the short term, anyway.
I was disappointed today that Nokia announced a new phone that wasn’t incredibly better than their previous phone, but not as enraged as everyone else. The new phone is shinier than the old one, and slightly thinner, but like every phone of this decade (bar recent Nokias), it’s a black oblong. Quite how that arouses rage and fanaticism in people, I don’t know.
I didn’t feel similarly about iPods. For years I read evangelic screeds about 20Gb mp3 players, but thought they were a load of toss, until I had drove through France with a friend and discovered there was an alternative to rummaging through the glove compartment for a fresh CD while hurtling along l’autoroute at 160 km/h. (Unfortunately, the alternative is to be playing with a scroll wheel when you should be concentrating on negotiating an alpine pass, but, uh, hey, technology!)
When I had an iPod, finally I understood what the fuss was about. With all these smartphones, I feel I understand what the fuss is about already, but I’m just not going to be that enthused when I finally have my own slab of glass to stroke with my fingers. Am I getting old? Maturing and realise the locus of happiness does not reside inside consumer electronics? Or just being cynical?
On the positive side, I rode my bicycle down the street today, and I went for a run. I still weigh more than when I got up, which isn’t great for my attempt to lose some pounds, but I’d forgotten how nice it is to ride a bicycle, wind blowing the sweat from your body as you navigate the humid streets. Maybe I don’t need a new phone, I just need some time on my bike.
And some gin, of course.