Ewan The Dream Sheep



This evening I managed to put Destroyer down for the night. Usually I have La Serpiente duty because I can’t feed Destroyer down, but tonight Destroyer took my hand and started to wander out of her sister’s bedroom. I don’t think she’d quite thought this through, but I walked her into her room and got her as far as her mattress, then turned on her sheep. Destroyer’s sheep is this thing, officially known as Ewan The Dream Sheep, but to me and my wife as “the sheep”, rather more prosaically. I say that shamefacedly, given we have a fluffy octopus called Cecile in the living room.

Ewan is a fluffy sphere that is vaguely sheep shaped, with rudimentary limbs. When you squeeze one of them, a red light emanates from his belly and a series of gentle music noises and heartbeats issue forth. As soon as I activated him, Destroyer slumped to the mattress, a wonderfully Pavlovian response. She tried to keep awake but her eyes were quickly narrowed slits, and although she tossed and turned for a few minutes (unlike her sister, she certainly doesn’t like my hand on her back while she’s going to sleep) she was asleep in short order. I was out of her room by 8:15, when my wife is often stuck in there feeding her for an hour or more.

(She was fast asleep on La Serpiente’s bed, the two of them having fallen asleep after two Bedtime Bears. I sat outside and worked on a presentation that needs to be delivered in a couple of days, and when it got to 9 and it was too much for me to think about any more, I gently woke my wife and got her to go to sleep in her own bed.

Quite proud of my super-parent status (capable of getting a small child to sleep! unheard of skills!) I went to do a tempo run outside. The training plan I’m following demands 8 1 mile long repeats (in about 3 weeks time) so I figured I’d attempt an easier version of this: 8 1 kilometre long repeats. It was still pretty brutal, because I kept running them too hard, going off like a rocket at the start of each kilometre and then getting worn out. As I was just running up and down outside my apartment block I kept running past a Malaysian motorcycle gang (or rather, eight or ten Malay guys in matching t-shirts, standing around next to one moped getting their photos taken) and past people wandering in and out of the food court, and occasionally towards a group of slow moving types who figured they should just walk five abreast along the path and try to ignore the man running towards them at full pelt.

Being a good citizen (or at least a good resident of this city) I didn’t skittle any of them, but it’s one of the annoying things about the world that you can be running toward people as fast as you like, clearly suffering because you’re breathing hard and drenched in sweat, and all you get in return is a bovine look of contempt and no apparent comprehension that they should get out of the way. So I speed up, and I listen to aggressive music, and most of the time I do find a way past.

I finished up about 10:15 and as soon as I stopped, went blind from the sweat pouring down my forehead. Which was nice. I staggered around outside for a bit then came inside, sweated some more, put La Serpiente back to sleep when she awoke for her usual near-midnight promenade, then had a shower and clambered into bed. Quite a productive evening, and Destroyer slumbers on. Dad and Ewan make a good team.

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2 responses to “Ewan The Dream Sheep”

  1. Ok, not wanting to put a spanner in your miracle dream sheep story … but if she fell asleep at the exact moment you turned it on, then as you’ve only done this once, it could just be a co-incidence. Or possibly, were you telling her about your endless meetings and PowerPoint stack at the same time? 🙂

    • This evening it took three quarters of an hour of her screaming at me while the sheep chuntered on. Not sure if that’s a disproof of the theory or not though

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