A hotel for exhibitionists


One amenity the hotel website doesn’t boast about is the direct sightlines into other rooms. There’s the W across the street and a Hyatt next to us in the block, and from our bedroom you can see into every guest room that hasn’t remembered to pull the blinds, or where they’re casual exhibitionists. So far we’ve seen a bored man rearranging toiletries, three fat ladies dancing, and a woman without any clothes on come out of her shower and wander around. It seems a bit unfair that all anyone could see if they looked in through our windows is me picking my nose or our daughter carrying shoes around, but if those are the things the perverted voyeurs of New York want to see, so be it.

I couldn’t spend all day invading people’s privacy, so this morning I went out and picked up my tuxedo from the suit hire place. That was down in the Avenue of the Americas, also signposted as 6th Avenue. If you’re going to go to all the bother of a rational, logical numbering system for streets and avenues, it’s a bit of a waste to pretend there are two different names for one avenue. Oh well. The proprietor of the suit rental shop seemed very happy that I’d come to get my tuxedo (although I only realised this morning that it wasn’t being delivered to the hotel) which was nice. I walked back to the hotel, to find my wife brought to a state of gibbering incoherence by our daughter’s refusal to stop yelling at her for an hour.

This yelling continued for another hour, no matter what we did, until finally she had some infant Tylenol and instantly transformed back into her usual happy self. Must have been teeth or something. We took her to the park, then to a Swedish cafe, and then my wife went for a hair appointment while I entertained our daughter.

Friends texted to say they were at 78th and Madison. So I took the subway to 78th, then walked in the pouring rain to 73rd and Madison (under an umbrella I’d purchased from an enterprising chap outside the station), before realising I was five blocks south of where I should be.

Never mind, it kept my daughter entertained.

I arrived at the cake shop, Lady M, just as my friends were leaving, so with the rain failing to abate, I bought more cake and then took the subway south again – there’s a stop two blocks from our hotel – just as my wife’s hair appointment concluded. And then I could unload ny daughter and finally catch some sleep before the wedding.

Now, awake again, I need to make sure my suit fits…


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