Oaklawn Farm Zoo


This afternoon we drove to the Oaklawn Farm Zoo, a sprawling site in the middle of farmland near Aylesford. When I heard about a farm zoo, I assumed a few cows and a mangy old horse, but as well as the obligatory pigs, rabbits and chickens, there are two tigers, three lions, leopards, jaguars, cougars, zebras, a black bear, a raven called Lucifer … basically, an awful lot of animals.

La Serpiente Aquatica Negra was very happy with the zoo. There are lots of wide open spaces between the animal enclosures to run around in, and, totally unexpectedly, five llamas, peaceably sitting around in a field and happy to ket random passers-by stroke their terribly soft llama fur. Which is handy if you’re trying to entertain a small child.

They also have fried potatoes and ice cream, so what could there be not to like? It’s a shame that there isn’t an onsite abattoir so that you watch the fun and exciting process whereby animals are turned into hot dogs (or rendered down into tallow for candles); there are beef and pork hot dogs, but they’re not made from the Farm Zoo’s own stock of animals.

Still, what kind of monster would want to eat a Black Bear Burger? Beyond asinine, to ursine, I guess.

Getting out into the sunshine was a good antidote for staying up late/getting up early to read terrible books. Earlier in the day I took La Serpiente Aquatica Negra to the playground in Windsor, and after I’d pushed her on the swings and taken her for a walk across a big grassy field, I walked her home. She didn’t like that and spent ten minutes screaming at me, until I picked her up and rocked her to sleep. That was fine, because I had a cute child nestled into my chest, but also hard work because if I tried to put her down she’d wake up and start howling, so I had to stand in the middle of a grassy field for half an hour before she was sound asleep enough to go in her stroller and be pushed home.

The only other thing that pacified her was watching me take a photo of the Windsor War Memorial, where they’ve misspelled the word “Britain”. I’m glad inattention to typography can get my daughter to calm down, if only for a short time.War Memorial, with spelling mistake


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