A low point

This afternoon I went to the doctor, for my various ailments: high cholesterol, a dodgy looking toenail, my busted hand (which appears to be tendonitis and thankfully not a fracture), my busted knee (which appears to possibly be a damaged meniscus and not just swelling (not so good)), and my snotty nose (for which I’ve got antibiotics and not much else can be said about that).

It was raining heavily, so I didn’t go back to the office but took my computer home, then fell asleep on my bed for twenty minutes.

Waking up I was pretty incoherent. I tried to do some fairly simple work tasks and made a real meal of them, and then spent the next three hours answering emails and trying to do progressively harder things, until I had a migraine and blurry vision, and it was about then that I started bawling.

This seems to be a tradition: send the family away for a long time, do something prosaic, then weep. This time, a combination of loneliness and despair at my knee had me howling like a wounded animal, choking for air between big ragged sobs, sat in a darkened room, head thumping. It really sucks to be alone when you’re not well.

I should have eaten. I expect some small part of this is low blood sugar. But I was neglectful and so the only things in the house I had to eat were breakfast cereal and Hobnobs. (I ate the Hobnobs first because I’m irresponsible.) After I’d cried myself out, or at least reached a quiet equilibrium, I ate some cereal and now ill try the complex process of figuring out which of my medication to take tonight. Will I correctly identify which antihistamine is drowsy and which stops you sleeping? Who knows?

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