Not going swimming


Because I have a great big hole in my knee, and I’m exhausted, I didn’t go swimming tonight. Instead I sent my wife in my stead, while I handled the kids and then settled down to do very little all night. I’m a high achiever, you see.

Actually, apart from being shattered from the flight back from Bangkok (I was in a filthy mood when we touched down, not ameliorated by the whole of the airport seeming to be full of slow moving idiots) I had a fairly productive day today.

Well, I managed to get the television screwed to the wall, so it now hangs in mid air with no visible sign of support, rather than being propped up on the floor like we have a crack house with better-than-average audio-visual facilities. I’m obsessed about reducing clutter at the moment, and that extends to running all the cables for the Xbox and TV invisibly, as well as realising that we don’t need lots of different devices attached to the TV any more, as the Xbox can do YouTube, Netflix and ludicrous computer games where you drive a car through the outback of Australia at 100 mph. So there’s that.

We still have too much stuff though, so my wife arranged for me to collect a set of secondhand Ikea shelves tonight, after I’d gone to our old apartment to give our keys back to our ex landlord. Because my wife was swimming, I took both kids, who were mostly well behaved, and I almost (but didn’t) get weepy about leaving behind the apartment we’d had 3 years in. Then we got in a taxi and drove across Singapore to rendezvous with my wife, and a Belgian who was selling the shelves, and my main man Lawrence, a rotund Singaporean who drives a van and has a constant expression of exasperated disbelief at the stupidity of people who hire him and his van to move things that clearly will never fit in his van.

Note for others: a fully assembled Kalex shelving unit won’t fit in a small Toyota van, and if you try to make it fit you’ll break things, and then Lawrence will sigh at your ineptitude and bodging, and eventually help you to reassemble a slightly less structurally sound set of shelves in your apartment an hour later. But now we have a Kalex shelving unit in our apartment, which means (as the varnish still hasn’t dried on the table I varnished nearly two weeks ago) my wife has somewhere to put her cookery books.

And after one swimming lesson, she’s already more competent than me. Which is fair.


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