Today El Capitan sang at me, a curious song which involved my name and a two syllable word. I can’t remember anything else about it, which is amusing, as El Capitan was adamant that by singing this over and over again, he’d be guaranteed to be written about, as the song would be the most interesting part of my day. He didn’t reckon with my sleep-deprivation induced amnesia robbing me of all knowledge of the last 12 hours.
Last night, I returned to an exhausted wife, who’d had to put up with a tempestuous baby all evening while I was carousing. Tonight, although I was home much earlier, I was on the phone to London and so didn’t give much fatherly assistance. La Serpiente Negra went down to sleep without a hitch, but she was merely gathering her strength so that she could start complaining properly at ten p.m.
I went in to see her. There is something cute about your offspring standing up in her cot so she can wail at a higher altitude and volume than if she were lying down. I picked her up and she stopped howling. I put her down and she started howling again. I rubbed her back and she stopped howling. I left the room and she started howling again.
Babies, like any predator, exploit weakness as soon as they detect it. We let her howl for five minutes and then I went back in again, to pick her up, put her down and rub her back. This second time, finding there was no milk forthcoming, she relented much more quickly and went to sleep. An efficient predator waits for when its prey is vulnerable. If no weakness is shown, it bides its time.
However, I am now so tired that I think it would be a good idea to write using only whatever suggestions my phone gives me: that is, the first time in the world to me that I have a great day and night and I will be a good day to all the time of the most important thing is that the world to me that I have a great day and night and I will be a good day.
Interesting. I don’t know why Nokia thinks I will be a good day and night, over and over again, but apparently it decides those auto suggestions based on my previous typing history. Perhaps I have been typing nothing but gibberish for the past year.
And so to bed.