Bad night

Tonight was hard. I was meant to do a long run tonight, didn’t have the will to get out, spent too long vacillating, and finally dragged myself out only to get less than a mile into it before packing the whole thing in, feeling incapable of running for half an hour, let alone for a marathon. My back was hurting, I had spasms of pain in my chest and my limbs, and I couldn’t tell if I was dying or just having an anxiety attack at the thought of all this training being a waste. 

Which was nice. I think it’s important to draw from this that you really really need to be recovered before you start running again, lest you do more damage to your fragile psyche by further embracing defeat. But it’s best not to over think these things. Sleep is what I need right now, time to heal from this desperation. 

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