The drugs might work


When I went to the doctor yesterday, I took the pills my wife had given me to take when the cold first kicked into gear. My doctor was very surprised when he saw the ingredients on the packet of PARAFLUZED, ($38 in any good Hong Kong pharmacy) and opined that it wasn’t the kind of thing it was legal to buy in Singapore.

The reason is, PARAFLUZED (which my phone’s autocorrect, quite endearingly, wants to change to PARALYZED) has just too many ingredients in it. It’s like some kind of crazy dragon pill, designed for the Hong Konger who wants maximum value-for-money from their pharmaceuticals.

There’s a super strong dose of paracetamol. There’s caffeine, to wake you up and give you a bit of pep. There’s something in there to suppress your cough, something to thin your phlegm, a couple of mystery ingredients that by now I wasn’t clear on, and probably some melamine for good measure. They’re full on all-in-one horse pills, for the person in too much of a rush to decide what medication they might want.

The kind of multi-functional pill that doctors don’t like, possibly because when you’re full of umpteen different medications and one of them doesn’t like you, it’s a bit harder to figure out which is doing the nastiness.

I looked up Parafluzed, and it’s made in the Success Industrial Building in Tuen Mun, Hong Kong. I wonder why s many buildings in Hong Kong have such suspicious sounding names. Is it all just to do with poor translation from the Chinese? Or is it a double bluff, where you think the Nothing-To-Hide,Honest Drug Pharmacopoeia Company of Huge Kok, Kowloon can’t really be up to anything dodgy?

My wife threw the PARAFLUZED in the bin anyway, though I think they could have been useful if we have another infestation of insects. (Or the insects might swell to a hundred times their size upon ingesting PARAFLUZED, which sounds scary, until you realize the rudimentary circulatory systems of insects mean they’d all die, and we’d just have giant size cockroaches to sweep out of the apartment. Problem solved.

Still, maybe it’s not the combination pills we have to fear. My doctor in Hong Kong would happily prescribe me eight different pills for a common cold, and it seemed like everything I had anything more serious, the Valium would come out. Well, I suppose it would keep you calm…

Today, I did little, apart from delete emails and suffer as my cold failed to give me back my higher mental faculties. Hopefully tomorrow I’m back to full power…


One response to “The drugs might work”

  1. I love the idea of being Parafluzed, and not just because I need maximum value for money. I secretly like being ill anyway as it means I can legitimately avoid all the annoying tasks I didn’t really want to do anyway. Simulataneously having a crazy something mixed with caffeine hit – even better.

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