It’s important to prepare for a long flight by being rested and hydrated, which was why when I went to the office Christmas party last night, I was doublefisting champagne for the first hour, and then on the wasabi martinis after that.
Fortunately the party stopped at 12 and I’d only got there at 8, minimising the opportunities for me to wreck myself.
Unfortunately, by midnight I was game for a laugh, so off I went to an 80s and 90s themed bar called 1980 (slightly inaccurate, don’t you think?) where I met a Brazilian man called Dave, wore a succession of dreadful wigs, played Puzzle Bobble and, eventually, had the DJ try to hound us out by playing awful music.
More fool him because I love awful music. About 2am I left to go home, and then had to get up at 730 to prepare for my physio appointment.
I have a tight IT band. This is a bit of flesh that runs from the side of your hip down to your knee and beyond. If it’s tight, you don’t really notice until your physio drives her knuckle into it and you start yelping in extreme pain. So half an hour of squeezing and stretching later, it’s probably a bit better but also a bit more wobbly. I gimped it over to the office, arriving just in time to miss the fire drill, then went out for our team Christmas dinner.
We played Evil Santa, which I compered despite having shouted myself hoarse at the party the night before. In Secret Santa, somebody buys you a gift and it’s probably a bit rubbish. With Evil Santa, everyone buys a gift, each person gets a unique number, and then in ascending order you either choose to unwrap one of the many gifts available, or steal somebody else’s.
There’s some tricky game theory here, designed to maximise schadenfreude and disappointment. If you steal a present, you do so before unwrapping anything else (which presents the possibility that the person you stole from gets much better off as a result) and there was much rowdiness. One evil genius wrapped a 5kg bag of rice as a gift, which provided something both useful and deeply impractical, as the "winner" then had to schlep the damn thing home. I won a pair of sweat bands for the next time I perspire.
After that, I went back to the office to tidy up, felt a bit shaky, went home, packed (panicking a bit) and then went to the airport. The shakes must be from Blood Bowl withdrawal – two whole days now without playing a game. Onwards, into the night.